Thursday, October 11, 2007

Sometimes you gotta ride the Bull.

Michael stupidly drives into a lake. Ryan’s up to some major douchebaggery. Phyllis is “kind of a bitch.” Toby’s bitter as hell. Dwangela may be over for good. Kevin and Andy join the Cult of Ryan. And Creed comes up with new uses for printer toner.

Episode 402 - Dunder-Mifflin Infinity

The Jam charade didn’t even last a full episode as Pam and Jim were caught in a kiss by the camera crew. After Toby sees Pam and Jim kiss, he sends a memo to the office about the company policy on PDAs and outs JAM. Michael’s “heart soars with the eagle’s nest” over the news they’re together.

Temp-turned-Vice President Ryan is pushing the company to go online. It’s actually long-overdue and probably the right move given their "under construction" site with a dancing Santa from 2002. But all Ryan brings to the table is business jargon and a $200 haircut. Sending Michael to get him water was both cold and deserved, though.

Michael sets out to win back customers who’ve left for big box retailers by wooing them the old fashioned way – with baskets of food. “Gift baskets are the essence of classiness.” I know I’ve made many a business decision thanks to flavored popcorn.

In the second incident (so far) of vehicular mayhem this season by Michael, he drove his rental car into Lake Scranton after blindly following the directions of the voice from the car’s GPS navigation system, ridiculously convinced it couldn’t be wrong since it was a computer. Dwight goes into rescue mode and wades around the car to pull Michael to safety out of all of three feet of water.

Back at the office, Ryan’s stopped in his tracks when Kelly springs the false news on him that she’s pregnant and she’s keeping the baby. Great silent talking head moment with Kelly shaking her head, followed by her squealing “We have a date” when he offers to talk about it over dinner. By the way, he flat out lied saying Karen had emailed to ask him out before, but we all know his shame of having revealed he e-asked her out to Jim.

Kevin and Andy get sucked into the Cult of Ryan and are amazed that Jim isn’t on board. Andy says that Ryan “smells like what Pierce Brosnan probably smells like.” They join together in their disapproval of Jim with Andy telling Jim that he needs “awesome lessons” for not drinking the Ryan Kool-Aid. “Later, Tuna.”

Creed steals the show again with minimal screen time but maximum funny. Realizing ageism is afoot, he dyes his hair black – with printer cartridge toner! – and starts dropping phrases like “Hey Bra,” “Later Skater,” and “Sometimes you gotta ride the Bull.”

The DWANGELA breakup saga continues with Dwight telling Angela over a dinner of cauliflower and noodles with a baked potato.
Angela: “I heard a joke today.”
Dwight: “Oh, that’s funny.”
Angela: “Yes, it is.”
Amazing that Angela wasn’t won over by the feral cat named Garbage that Dwight captured in the barn for her. At least the folks at Vance Refrigeration have an office mascot of their own now.

Michael impressively remembers his former client’s daughter’s food allergy – proof there’s some justification for his job. But after they crash in the lake - and goaded on by Dwight’s foul post-breakup mood - they march back to re-claim the gift basket from the lawyer’s office. In one of the series’ most cringe-worthy moments ever, Michael has a full-on hissy fit in the lobby. Though I loved the screams of, “Where are the turtles?!”

Kelly lets Ryan off the hook with the truth, which frees him to ask Pam out to dinner with this doozy: “Wear something nice.” Millions of women across North America wretched simultaneously. Pam shoots him down with the news that she and Jim are together and Jim gives him a wave and smirks to the cameras, “I guess he can’t get *any* woman he wants.” Second time Ryan’s shot down by a girlfriend of Jim, and this time, we don’t really feel sorry for him about it.

Michael returns to the office wet and bothered and announces that they won’t be using technology any time soon because it almost killed him. Ryan quips back that he’s wrong. But Michael has the final word on it, stating that “computers are about trying to murder you in a lake.” Touché, Michael Scott. Touché.

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