Fly away sweet little bird. Fly away and be free.

Karen does get the promotion – sort of. Andy gets waitlisted. Road trip! Dwight’s inner pyromaniac/terrorist shines through. Jim cross-dresses and gets a severe tongue lashing. We learn that the eyes are the groin of the head.

Episode 406 - Branch Wars

Shocker! Karen’s a regional manager at Dunder-Mifflin’s Utica branch. Yeah, the bloggers have known about that since the Office Convention. I somehow remained blissfully spoiler-free, so I was psyched to see her back...and sassier than ever. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Stanley quits to take a job in Utica for more money and Michael is determined not to let him go without a fight. So he and Dwight take Jim, under false pretences, to Utica for a panty raid. For extra fun, Dwight has prepared some Molotov cocktails and old tire bits for stink bombs. Oh, and they stole some uniforms from the warehouse – and Jim gets Madge’s! Surprisingly, doesn’t fit too poorly. Don’t miss the mustachioed trio in Michael’s PT Cruiser!

Hysterical Oscar talking head:

"Besides having sex with men, I would say the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me."

We’re introduced here to the most exclusive organization in Scranton’s D-M branch. Comprised of just Pam, Oscar and Toby, the finer things club meets to discuss books and art and eat fine foods off linen and china…in the break room. Why the hell wouldn’t they meet off campus? The break room? They get a whole assful of Kevin, and Phyllis tries to play a concerto on the microwave during their meeting.

Andy offers a letter of reference from former US Sentaor Rick Santorum to get into the Finer Things Club, but the envelope is filled with three Ulysses S. Grants. They decide to use the cash for hard cover books and to send him a “thank you for your patronage” letter and wait list him – just like when he applied to Cornell. He’s psyched and still determined since it’s the most exclusive club at Dunder-Mifflin ahead of the Party Planning Committee and Scrantonicity II.

Back in Utica, Dwight and Michael infiltrate with ultimate stealth and hijack the industrial copier – down the stairs. Needless to say, they get pinned between the copier and the wall. Michael, on his death bed, begs Jim to host the Dundies after he’s gone. As his life flashed before him, it’s great to see that his priorities are in order!

Karen gives Jim quite the what for in her office. Jim is sufficiently tongue tied and nothing he says is right. It was great to see Karen give him some deserved shit about their relationship. We learn that Karen cried over Jim. I’m sure she dreamed about confronting him and while it probably involved physical pain, I’m sure she was pretty satisfied with the outcome.

Michael admits defeat with Stanley and starts writing a help wanted ad:

"WANTED: Middle-aged black man with sass. Big butt. Bigger heart…"

But Stanley realized Michael isn’t going to get him the raise he was hoping for and rescinds his resignation.

Pam needles Jim, but lets him off the hook by admitting him into the Finer Things Club. Too bad he slacks even at that. But he does do a fine Irish brogue.


While the WGA strike is still on, I’ll refrain from adding new links to NBC.com’s deleted scenes since the writers don’t get compensated for the ads and sponsorships of said video content.

Sometimes you gotta ride the Bull.

Michael stupidly drives into a lake. Ryan’s up to some major douchebaggery. Phyllis is “kind of a bitch.” Toby’s bitter as hell. Dwangela may be over for good. Kevin and Andy join the Cult of Ryan. And Creed comes up with new uses for printer toner.

Episode 402 - Dunder-Mifflin Infinity

The Jam charade didn’t even last a full episode as Pam and Jim were caught in a kiss by the camera crew. After Toby sees Pam and Jim kiss, he sends a memo to the office about the company policy on PDAs and outs JAM. Michael’s “heart soars with the eagle’s nest” over the news they’re together.

Temp-turned-Vice President Ryan is pushing the company to go online. It’s actually long-overdue and probably the right move given their "under construction" site with a dancing Santa from 2002. But all Ryan brings to the table is business jargon and a $200 haircut. Sending Michael to get him water was both cold and deserved, though.

Michael sets out to win back customers who’ve left for big box retailers by wooing them the old fashioned way – with baskets of food. “Gift baskets are the essence of classiness.” I know I’ve made many a business decision thanks to flavored popcorn.

In the second incident (so far) of vehicular mayhem this season by Michael, he drove his rental car into Lake Scranton after blindly following the directions of the voice from the car’s GPS navigation system, ridiculously convinced it couldn’t be wrong since it was a computer. Dwight goes into rescue mode and wades around the car to pull Michael to safety out of all of three feet of water.

Back at the office, Ryan’s stopped in his tracks when Kelly springs the false news on him that she’s pregnant and she’s keeping the baby. Great silent talking head moment with Kelly shaking her head, followed by her squealing “We have a date” when he offers to talk about it over dinner. By the way, he flat out lied saying Karen had emailed to ask him out before, but we all know his shame of having revealed he e-asked her out to Jim.

Kevin and Andy get sucked into the Cult of Ryan and are amazed that Jim isn’t on board. Andy says that Ryan “smells like what Pierce Brosnan probably smells like.” They join together in their disapproval of Jim with Andy telling Jim that he needs “awesome lessons” for not drinking the Ryan Kool-Aid. “Later, Tuna.”

Creed steals the show again with minimal screen time but maximum funny. Realizing ageism is afoot, he dyes his hair black – with printer cartridge toner! – and starts dropping phrases like “Hey Bra,” “Later Skater,” and “Sometimes you gotta ride the Bull.”

The DWANGELA breakup saga continues with Dwight telling Angela over a dinner of cauliflower and noodles with a baked potato.
Angela: “I heard a joke today.”
Dwight: “Oh, that’s funny.”
Angela: “Yes, it is.”
Amazing that Angela wasn’t won over by the feral cat named Garbage that Dwight captured in the barn for her. At least the folks at Vance Refrigeration have an office mascot of their own now.

Michael impressively remembers his former client’s daughter’s food allergy – proof there’s some justification for his job. But after they crash in the lake - and goaded on by Dwight’s foul post-breakup mood - they march back to re-claim the gift basket from the lawyer’s office. In one of the series’ most cringe-worthy moments ever, Michael has a full-on hissy fit in the lobby. Though I loved the screams of, “Where are the turtles?!”

Kelly lets Ryan off the hook with the truth, which frees him to ask Pam out to dinner with this doozy: “Wear something nice.” Millions of women across North America wretched simultaneously. Pam shoots him down with the news that she and Jim are together and Jim gives him a wave and smirks to the cameras, “I guess he can’t get *any* woman he wants.” Second time Ryan’s shot down by a girlfriend of Jim, and this time, we don’t really feel sorry for him about it.

Michael returns to the office wet and bothered and announces that they won’t be using technology any time soon because it almost killed him. Ryan quips back that he’s wrong. But Michael has the final word on it, stating that “computers are about trying to murder you in a lake.” Touché, Michael Scott. Touché.