Move over Judge Judy - Make way for Judge Smokey

Locke kicked Ben’s ass. Desmond kicked Ben’s ass. The Temple’s floor kicked Ben’s ass. Smokey, strangely, showed Ben some home movies. And then Alex kicked Ben’s ass. And somehow, although this weasely mofo deserved an ass whupping more than anyone – ever – I wound up feeling a little bad for him. He’s a manipulator, and he manipulated me from the screen. Bastard. Someone get Michael Emerson an Emmy. Pls.

Lost 5x12: Dead is Dead

Island, 1977:
Charles Widmore, looking more like a Mediterranean soap opera star than a conniving Brit, fumes as he enters what looks like it could be an encampment in any time. In fact, I think it was intended to appear that it could have been Black Rock, native inhabitants, or earlier. However, it’s 1977, and Richard has just returned from The Temple with Little Ben. Charles accuses Richard of potentially blowing their cover, but he says that Jacob wanted it that way.

Island, 2007:
John gently wakes Ben, who looks a little panicked – “Oh God! You’re alive!”. He says, “because it’s one thing to believe it, John. It’s another thing to see it.” He says he was going to the main island to be judged – by the smoke monster – for breaking the rules. (Judge Smokey, coming to ABC, Weekdays at 4pm.)

Ben makes his way out to the beach, and some of the Ajira survivors are trying to carry a metal crate. No idea what is in the crate.

Guesses from the interwebs and friends on what’s in the crate:
• John Locke’s unopened coffin
• Nuclear warhead
• Ammunition for the “war” that’s about to come to the island
• The body of Charles Widmore
• Marcellus Wallace’s soul
• Gwyneth Paltrow’s head
• Obama's stimulus package for the island

Caesar approaches Ben to ask what he knows about Locke. Ben denies knowing him. (Like Simon denied knowing Jesus before he was crucified? He did look at John when he woke up and said, “My God!”)

Island, 1988:
Ben with an era-appropriate new wave ‘do (and looking frankly a little Pee Wee Herman-esque with dark hair) and young Ethan are poised to go after Rousseau – apparently on orders from Charles. When he enters her hut, though, he’s startled to see she has a baby. He takes Alex and says, “If you want your child to live, every time you hear whispers, you run the other way.”


Question: Why would she need to run away from the whispers to keep Alex – and not herself – alive? Would the whispers somehow otherwise reunite her with Alex?

Island, 2007:
Ben is in his office, looking at a picture of him and Alex. He folds it and puts it into his pocket. (Call back to Desmond and his pic of Penny. John chides Ben for being a little corporate for leading from behind a desk, and then looks badass as he sits in Ben’s chair and demands they talk about the elephant in the room – why Ben killed John. Ben pauses. It seemed to me that he was trying to come up with the answer. He says it was the only way to get John back to the island, that otherwise the rest of the O6 wouldn’t have gone back. He stopped him from killing himself because he needed the information. He seems like he’s nervous and coming up with the story on the fly. Not like Ben really. John says he’s going to help Ben be judged and is going with him.

Geek alert: On and behind Ben’s desk are some unusual items – including an animal skull, a stuffed bird (a hawk? Hawks were commonly associated with the Egyptian god Horus, who had a hawk's head), and a what looks to me, anyway, like a leather-bound ledger (Could this be Tovard Hanso’s ledger from the Black Rock that Widmore won at auction?).

Back on the beach, Ben shoots Caesar for trying to stop them from taking the outrigger. Ben shoots Caesar when he demands more answers and then throws John the shotgun. Ben is back. As they reach the dock, John methodically puts on his – Christian’s – shoes. I assume he took them off because they had to walk the canoe out into the surf, but it seemed very pointed.

Question: Wasn’t the dock destroyed when Locke “blew up” the sub?

Island, 1988:
Charles is frustrated with Ben that he didn’t kill Rousseau, but he shoots back that Widmore didn’t tell him that she had a baby. Widmore says he should have killed her too, and Ben offers the baby to him for him to do it. Charles walks off and he and Richard look at each other knowingly.

Island, 2007:
Locke and Ben make their way up to New Otherton. John questions why they moved up there in the first place instead of living in the jungle – that it doesn’t seem like something the island would have wanted. Ben says, “you don’t have the first idea what this island wants.” John replies, “Are you sure about that?” John is Ben now. He seems in control and connected to the island and with a deeper understanding of the island than Ben has.

They see a light in Ben’s old house and he enters. Sun and Lapidus are inside. Lapidus shows them the photo Christian gave them and Ben seems genuinely surprised to see it. She says that Christian told them to wait there for John Locke. Ben tells them to look outside.

Geek alert: The Risk game was still on the table where it’d been left, and the portrait of Ben’s mom, Emily, was on the bedroom wall.


Locke explains his presence to them as best he can, and Lapidus is dumbfounded and says he’s going back to the plane to try to get help. But Sun stays to have Locke help find Jin. Locke tells Ben to “get to it” and on with the judging. Ben reveals his secret hieroglyph-adorned chamber and descends into it. He comes upon what looks like a murky cesspool and uncorks it. The muddy water drains and Ben says he’s waiting.

Island, 1988:
Ben’s pushing a young Alex on the swing. I’m guessing she’s about 4 years old. Richard says Charles is about to leave. Widmore is being escorted to the sub in cuffs. He’s being banished because he broke the rules – having a family off the island. But Ben says he’ll protect the island at all costs. Charles says that the island may want Alex dead one day. And then he leaves with a dismissive, “I’ll be seeing you, boy.”

Island, 2007:
Sun says that Jack must have lied about John being dead. Ben says Locke was indeed dead, but then lies and says that he had no idea John would come back to life- that he’s never seen anyone come back to life here.

John emerges from the jungle and Ben says the monster hasn’t come – it’s not a train – but John says he knows where to find it. Ben’s bug eyes bug even further.

Island, 2007:
Ben asks how John knows, and Locke says he just does. Locke says that Ben doesn’t to blindly follow others on faith and Ben agrees. They arrive at the wall surrounding The Temple. Locke says they’re not going in, they’re going under it. Ben asks Sun to tell Desmond he’s sorry if he doesn’t make it back. Ben descends into the hole.

Los Angeles, 2007:
Desmond sees Ben on the dock and Ben shoots him. He approaches Penny and says "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." “Hello, my name is Benjamin Linus,” as he's about to shoot her. But Ben is surprised to see little Charlie. He hesitates and appears to re-think it, but Desmond jumps him and beats the crap out of him and dumps him into the water.


Island, 2007:
Lapidus makes it back to the Hydra Island and he confronts Ilana. She says, “What lies in the shadow of the statue?” He doesn’t understand the question and she cold cocks him with the butt of her rifle. She tells one of the other Ajira survivors that they’re all going.

Question: Ilana’s “What lies in the shadow of the statue?” question. Was this a security question/test, like Desmond's “What did one snowman say to the other?” joke.


Under The Temple, Ben tells Locke that he killed Alex – that’s what he will be judged for. Ben walks ahead, but falls through the floor and lands in a chamber below. Heiroglyphs abound. He walks up to what looks like it might be an altar and looks at a glyph of what appears to be the Egyptian god of the afterlife, Anubis, staring down the smoke monster. Just then, Judge Smokey enters the court and surrounds Ben. He sees scenes of his life and primarily of Alex, including the betrayal of her. And just as mysteriously as it entered, Smokey disappears.








Geek alert: Rather than subtle and hidden, the effects played out almost a little cheesily. Could this be them paying homage to The Wizard of Oz, and the scene with Dorothy in the tornado, when people fly by Dorothy's window? After all, Ben did name himself Henry Gale, Dorothy's uncle's name, when he was still lying about his past, and said he arrived on the island in a hot air balloon.

Geek alert: I have the internets and a poster on Ack Attack's page to thank for this, but could Smokey be Ammit, Egyptian bringer of divine retribution, a creature that devoured those heavy with wrongdoing.


Suddenly Alex appears. Ben apologizes and she grabs him by the neck and demands that he listen to and follow John Locke. Ben starts to cry and Alex is gone. Locke arrives with some vines to pull him up he tells John, “it let me live.”



So what did you think? I was thrilled with this episode. Awesome story, tons of mythology, and lots of Ben getting his ass kicked. Post below with your thoughts.

- Sean Salo

Driving Mister Lockey

CleanedUpBen stops by to see John. ("Avon calling!") Ben helps John with his necktie. Widmore gets an A in bedside manner. Caesar and Ilana get more answers from John in one hour than Ben gave the Losties in 4 seasons. TallWalt gets even taller. JackBeard cries...again. Lapidus successfully lands the plane in the jungle AND then joins the island crew team - suck on that, Sully.

Lost 5x07: The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham

I'm not sure why, but I felt underwhelmed by this episode. In a show where we see Widmore gain Locke's trust, Abaddon's return and Ben pull some moves that are even crazier than we've come to expect from Ben, I still came away feeling a little disappointed. Perhaps the expectations were too high for an ep written by Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof.

On the island:

The “condolences guy” (Caesar) from 316 opens the episode. He’s rifling through an office, looking for something. He finds a shotgun, and conceals it in his pack. The female officer (Ilana) who was handcuffed to Sayid on the plane interrupts him and they walk out to the beach where they find – camera pans around for a dramatic reveal from behind – John Locke. (It’s their signature reveal method, but it’s tired. Or maybe I’m just tired…?)

Lapidus successfully landed on the second island near the Hydra station. I guess the runway that Juliet said they were building several seasons ago worked. Though it seemed like the plane was in the middle of the jungle, so I'm not sure when this is supposed to be. Clearly not the same time that Jack, Kate and Hurley seem to be in though.

Geek alert: Caesar is flipping through a Life magazine from April 1954 with the cover headline: Color Pictures of Hydrogen Test. This is from the same year as the photo on the dossier Hawking gave Jack, and I'd be willing to bet a foreshadowing of the fact that Jughead, the H-bomb on the island, will need to be used at some point in time. Also, anyone else notice the picture of the Creature from the Black Lagoon as he was flipping through? Not sure what it means. Maybe nothing since there was also a vintage Hanes underwear ad in there as well. ;)

John is risen. Which would have been a tad more shocking if we hadn’t seen it in the previews for the episode… or we didn’t call it when we saw him in the coffin…

Locke asks about the outrigger canoes and it turns out that the pilot and some woman (Sun, perhaps, to go look for Jin?) took one of three that were there. (I guess we know who was shooting at the other canoe in the earlier episode.) Locke tells Ilana that he remembers dying.

Tunisia:

John’s eyes open after the donkey wheel push and he’s in the desert, with his bone protruding still. Cameras line the area and John calls for help. Night falls, and a truck zooms up and whisks him to a crude hospital. He bites down on a bit and they re-set his leg. Watching the procedure? Matthew Abaddon.

Geek alert flashback: In case you'd forgotten, his name is fraught with meaning. Matthew, in Hebrew, means gift from God. And also from Hebrew, Abaddon means Hell or destruction. Put together, it's as if his name means gift from the god of hell.

When he wakes, he gets a little sweet bedside manner from none other than Charles Widmore. This was a shock. But he seems like a genuinely good man. He sent a specialist to deal with John’s leg, hooked him up with a chauffeur (Abaddon), given him a world cell phone and a special number in case he needs a booty call to reach him (23, of course), a Canadian passport with the name Jeremy Bentham and given him access to whatever he needs to complete the mission of getting the O6 back to the island. Widmore explains that he knew to find John there because that spot was the “exit”.

Geek alert: If you want to dive deeper into this, check out the theory on vile vorticies. Perhaps you have to go in order from one to the other. So from the island to Tunisia...

Widmore seems genuinely amazed that Locke appears not to have aged and that it was only 4 days in Locke’s timeline since they’d met 3 decades earlier on the island.

Widmore tells John there’s a war coming. He then tells him he’s supposed to lead and plays into Locke’s need to be important.

“What makes you think I’m so special?”

“Because you are.”

Abaddon takes him to the airport and Locke tells him he doesn’t want to talk. Asked where he needs to go, Locke says Santo Domingo.

Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic:

Sayid is building homes for “Build Our World”. Locke tries to convince him to go back to the island. Sayid is not convinced and tells him to come back to the DR if he wants to make a real difference.

Fail #1.

New York City:

A somewhat convincing intersection on what’s supposed to be the Upper West Side. (I’ve seen worse, anyway.) John and Abaddon are across from a private school, Fieldcroft. The students leave the building, and out walks Tall Walt! He sees Locke and walks over to speak with him, with an even deeper voice than when he visited John in the mass grave on the island. (When it’s time to change, you’ve got to rearrange.) He’s been having dreams about Locke, he says. He asks about his dad and John lies and says last he’d heard, he was on a freighter. Well, I guess that wasn’t a total lie. That was the last place he was alive. Locke doesn’t even ask him about going to the island.

Fail #2.

Locke and Abaddon drive off, and we see an even more ominous than usual Ben spying from another corner.

Santa Rosa, CA:

Locke visits Hurley at the hospital. Hurley seems unimpressed to see him there, but he just thinks he’s talking to a ghost. The staff tells him he is in fact talking to a guy in a wheelchair and he freaks out. Locke tells him they need to go back to the island and Hurley freaks out and is escorted back into the hospital.

Geek alert: Hurley was painting a picture of the Sphinx in Egypt. Not sure what this means, but I'm sure we'll see.

Fail #3.

Then we get an even more labored explanation than last week’s Doubting Thomas one. Abaddon says John has to remember him. From the hospital. Where John was. When he was paralyzed. And he was the orderly. Who told him to go on the walkabout. That got John to Australia. That got him to the island. (Seriously? Is there anyone watching the show in season 5 who didn’t recall who Abaddon was and needed that? Maybe we should be tallying the show’s failures, not John’s…)

Los Angeles:

Locke visits Kate. Kate says no.

Fail #4.

Locke demands to know what Abaddon found out about Helen Norwood. He claims he was unable, but John suddenly grows a pair and forces him to reveal that he does know where she is…

Santa Monica, CA:

Helen is six feet under. Abaddon explains that she died of a brain aneurism.

Geek alert: She died on 4/8/06. 4…8…

Fail #5.

As they are getting back into the car, Abaddon is shot. John somehow with a broken leg manages to climb into the front seat and peel out of the cemetery. His car is hit twice and he wakes up in the hospital.

Bearded Jack is sitting bedside this time. He demands to know why Locke is there. Locke says it’s fate. Jack dismisses it as probability. Locke tells him they need to go back to the island and Jack flies into another difficult-to-explain rage, tears fall and he says no.

Locke tells Jack that Christian says hello. Jack doesn’t believe him. He leaves John.

Fail #6.

Westerfield Hotel, Los Angeles:

Having failed again, John decides he’s not special, he can’t get back, and is going to end it. He uses an electrical cord to make a noose and is just about to jump off the table when there’s a knock at the door.

It’s Ben!

Ben is there and tells John not to do it. He is special. Paraphrasing, it went something like this: ‘Don’t believe Widmore. I’ve been protecting you. Yes, I shot Abaddon, but it was to save you. You are supposed to lead, John. ‘ Ben kneels in front of John who is about to die in close to a cruicifixion pose (more religious imagery). Ben tells him that Jack just bought a ticket to Sydney – he was seemingly successful after all. And John changes his mind.

He helps John down. Ben says they’ll talk to Sun next and that he has Jin’s ring. Ben seems genuinely shocked that Jin is still alive. John reveals that he knows who can help, a woman named Eloise Hawking. Ben’s demeanor changes. He grabs the cord and uses it to choke John to death.

And Ben’s role as a miserable, double-crossing bastard is reprised.

Ben makes the death look like a suicide, cleans up and leaves. Oh, luckily, Jin’s ring just HAPPENED to be sitting right on the nightstand. Pretty convenient.

Back on the island:

John is speaking with Caesar again and he brings him to see the injured from the plane. Among the injured is none other than Ben Linus. He tells Caesar that Ben was the man who killed him.

Questions:

• Was Ben injured because the island knew he wasn’t supposed to be back?
  
• Except for New York, why was every other stop on John's itinerary one with a religious name? Santo Domingo, Santa Clara, Los Angeles, Santa Monica. (Props to Phil on this call.)
  

So I'm sure I was in the minority feeling a little disappointed by this one. Help me out. What did you love about it? What did I miss that would have endeared me more to the ep? Comment below!